With much apprehension, I started editing my resume today -tailored fit the thing to the work description of an NSTP formator. (deep breathe, almost a sigh)
I really don’t know, I mean I have pending applications, most of which Manila based, and am just waiting for further processes, as my application has been positively entertained. I checked my email days ago and much of them speak of assurance that details are being plotted out so that when I fly to Manila, things’ll be smooth already. But…
Amidst all this, there live inside my heart a little voice that shouts (as loud as it can I guess) that I ought to stay. The lungga is so comfty a place for me to leave, the Ateneo is so prestigious-a-name for me to exchange with other employers and my heart says it has found its missing piece, who by the way, decided to stay.
Torn. I ask, now what?
Is there anything harder than this? Aside from the fact that I might lose my left eyesight, I want to believe that things are laid easy for me now – but it’s not. Crossroads are a headache.
I would love to leave as much as I want to stay. Would it be the future I imagined it to be – uptight clothes, flashy working environment and dreams coming true – or would it be what my heart somehow tries to insinuate, blue blooded formator with a passionate heart ready to take a chance again in a place called home? Wah! Freak out!
Charles told me last night he’s dumbfounded when I confessed my JaCo thingy (that I care, wink, much more than he knows), now I guess I would need a word a degree higher, or maybe two or even higher than that so to describe how overwhelmed I am.
(deep breathe, now it’s a sigh)
the little wonderer is lost, lost with which road to take :((
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
LSSed
it started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
Sunday, March 6, 2011
today my life begins
the storm's about to end and a new day comes...
I say a little prayer of thanks, especially to those who whispered a line of two for me, and i beg forgiveness from those whom I have, for a while, hurt - meant or not.
hugs.
I say a little prayer of thanks, especially to those who whispered a line of two for me, and i beg forgiveness from those whom I have, for a while, hurt - meant or not.
hugs.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
TEN IN THE AFTERNOON
[February 25, 2011 11:15am]
Today’s atypical. Aside from the fact that it’s the 25th anniversary of the world renowned people power, today’s also the time of the week that I choose to stay at home and chill. The past days and the coming days are and would be damn challenging, so I guess I needed a break.
Home alone, my Achi Kun’s at the office and my brother’s still in ADMU, had to pick him up again later maybe past 11 nearly 12 morn, so mean while, I am free, not really that, but yah. Chill.
I‘m still on my boxers, haven’t brushed my teeth yet and the hum of the washing machine syncs with old songs that to my delight, has given an even brighter shade for my day. I’m at the breakfast nook now, laptop in front, the open window at my right with the wind playfully caressing the curtain, which dances above the mess of food and drinks I am delighted to consume and have consumed. With my phones beeping a moment after another due to friends reconnecting, my morning’s really fun. Chill.
Earlier I went out to check on if I still have gas, have to drive a kilometer or two for an errand later, whilst at the porch I saw kids playing ball. Ever seen a music video or a movie where the frame would pan through the sun’s glare and then reveal a good scene? Well I just had that. As you know, my left eye’s still suffering from uveitis so I can hardly see with it, the effect was that, a movie like scene. Fun, really, the cool air complimented well the warmth of the sun and the kids giggling made the soundtrack amazing.
Nakakatuwa, it suddenly occurred to me how vanity has rid me off few little joys in life. I remember when I was still a kid, time like this; I’m still outside playing with my cousins, sometimes biking somewhere far. If not, naliligo at a naturally formed pool near the house, hai, I miss that place.
Siguro nga ganun, when we grow old we develop all sorts of vanity – compelling us to forgo things that we used to do. Parang malaking testimony slash challenge for the saying ‘we don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing’. Kasi naman, together with these vanities, we have developed new games, new schemes - the world of the grown-ups. Noon I used to wish na sana I grow up fast so that I’d be happier, but shame, I envy kids now. It’s as if kasi, ang hirap palang ibalik yung inosenteng mga tawa. Days like this, it happens every day when I was still a kid, now, kita mo naman that I even had to struggle hard so to dish on this day.
Pero I won’t fuss. Kasi alam ko, I haven’t grown really. I’m still that kid who sneaks out with my bike to go places I haven’t gone to. Sabi ko nga challenge ang gawing araw araw ganito – and I have high hopes, and conviction that magagawa ko naman talaga.
The vanities of life might intend to steal from me that kid that I am but I am not allowing it.
Imma laugh hard and run fast. Making TENs in the AFTERNOON is my responsibility now, wala nang ibang gagawa ng paraan for me to have a day like this every day - except me.
So bring on the sun and let me play.
Today’s atypical. Aside from the fact that it’s the 25th anniversary of the world renowned people power, today’s also the time of the week that I choose to stay at home and chill. The past days and the coming days are and would be damn challenging, so I guess I needed a break.
Home alone, my Achi Kun’s at the office and my brother’s still in ADMU, had to pick him up again later maybe past 11 nearly 12 morn, so mean while, I am free, not really that, but yah. Chill.
I‘m still on my boxers, haven’t brushed my teeth yet and the hum of the washing machine syncs with old songs that to my delight, has given an even brighter shade for my day. I’m at the breakfast nook now, laptop in front, the open window at my right with the wind playfully caressing the curtain, which dances above the mess of food and drinks I am delighted to consume and have consumed. With my phones beeping a moment after another due to friends reconnecting, my morning’s really fun. Chill.
Earlier I went out to check on if I still have gas, have to drive a kilometer or two for an errand later, whilst at the porch I saw kids playing ball. Ever seen a music video or a movie where the frame would pan through the sun’s glare and then reveal a good scene? Well I just had that. As you know, my left eye’s still suffering from uveitis so I can hardly see with it, the effect was that, a movie like scene. Fun, really, the cool air complimented well the warmth of the sun and the kids giggling made the soundtrack amazing.
Nakakatuwa, it suddenly occurred to me how vanity has rid me off few little joys in life. I remember when I was still a kid, time like this; I’m still outside playing with my cousins, sometimes biking somewhere far. If not, naliligo at a naturally formed pool near the house, hai, I miss that place.
Siguro nga ganun, when we grow old we develop all sorts of vanity – compelling us to forgo things that we used to do. Parang malaking testimony slash challenge for the saying ‘we don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing’. Kasi naman, together with these vanities, we have developed new games, new schemes - the world of the grown-ups. Noon I used to wish na sana I grow up fast so that I’d be happier, but shame, I envy kids now. It’s as if kasi, ang hirap palang ibalik yung inosenteng mga tawa. Days like this, it happens every day when I was still a kid, now, kita mo naman that I even had to struggle hard so to dish on this day.
Pero I won’t fuss. Kasi alam ko, I haven’t grown really. I’m still that kid who sneaks out with my bike to go places I haven’t gone to. Sabi ko nga challenge ang gawing araw araw ganito – and I have high hopes, and conviction that magagawa ko naman talaga.
The vanities of life might intend to steal from me that kid that I am but I am not allowing it.
Imma laugh hard and run fast. Making TENs in the AFTERNOON is my responsibility now, wala nang ibang gagawa ng paraan for me to have a day like this every day - except me.
So bring on the sun and let me play.
Friday, February 11, 2011
The Wimpy Kid decides to LIVE
I was once a wimpy kid, once, because, now, I can be called a wimpy young adult. And for that, I have found this story interesting.
Once there was a wimpy kid who wears braces, green ones, and he’s got green eye contacts, too. It’s not that hard to tell that he’ll suck for green stuff, literally. It has been his fascination to collect green things and allow them to merely rot in his closet. Anyhow, it’s not his collection that we are to talk about.
He’s typically like everyone else, except that, duh, the title says it loud; he’s a wimp, a wimpy wimp. You’ll see him bruised one day, and the next, see him bruised again, this time on the other side, most of the time on the opposite of the first one. He’s practically clumsy, not to mention fragile too.
One day he was telling his classmates stories when he suddenly sneezed and then came those nasty stuffs off his nose. After that day, he was, the green man. I just don’t know though if that day has a direct relation to his obsession now with greeny green stuffs, meaning things and toys and gadgets, ah you know the drill.
Now, back to the green man, err, the wimpy kid. He’s been so wimpy that before he graduate and went one more level up the hierarchy of being doomed in schools too stupid to understand his nature, he made the biggest mistake of his life. We went telling the whole world what he feels – making him the most laughed at little dude. Such a shame, I just can’t understand why he did that.
Anyhow, he grew a bit, enough for him to go to junior high, which to his misfortune is even wilder that the world he once knew inside the intermediate school. Thus, he expected to be humiliated even more.
But to his surprise, he was not. Thanks to his organization, EKIDS, meaning the E, elite kids, meaning it’s where the brainiacs and the overly street smart convene, where the loudest and the calmest are friends, where the socialites are with the scholars and where every mice can seek his lungga. It’s the place to be at Arellano Dy Ng Uy School of Excellence and magis+. And for quite sometime, he was able to pick up the pieces of his own self, shattered by the many tragedies that came and the much laughter that made him loose bits of his braces off into the air of self pity and emoism (emoism, is a new word coined by the world renowned BRENTipedia, FYI) so to cut the story short, the wimpy kid has grown better…
He was able to again trust people, the fear of being abused has gone and the many stories he wished not to share has slowly been overwritten by the many good ones he was able to make…
But one day he just died, hit in the heart, he died…
The reason?
… to be continued.
Once there was a wimpy kid who wears braces, green ones, and he’s got green eye contacts, too. It’s not that hard to tell that he’ll suck for green stuff, literally. It has been his fascination to collect green things and allow them to merely rot in his closet. Anyhow, it’s not his collection that we are to talk about.
He’s typically like everyone else, except that, duh, the title says it loud; he’s a wimp, a wimpy wimp. You’ll see him bruised one day, and the next, see him bruised again, this time on the other side, most of the time on the opposite of the first one. He’s practically clumsy, not to mention fragile too.
One day he was telling his classmates stories when he suddenly sneezed and then came those nasty stuffs off his nose. After that day, he was, the green man. I just don’t know though if that day has a direct relation to his obsession now with greeny green stuffs, meaning things and toys and gadgets, ah you know the drill.
Now, back to the green man, err, the wimpy kid. He’s been so wimpy that before he graduate and went one more level up the hierarchy of being doomed in schools too stupid to understand his nature, he made the biggest mistake of his life. We went telling the whole world what he feels – making him the most laughed at little dude. Such a shame, I just can’t understand why he did that.
Anyhow, he grew a bit, enough for him to go to junior high, which to his misfortune is even wilder that the world he once knew inside the intermediate school. Thus, he expected to be humiliated even more.
But to his surprise, he was not. Thanks to his organization, EKIDS, meaning the E, elite kids, meaning it’s where the brainiacs and the overly street smart convene, where the loudest and the calmest are friends, where the socialites are with the scholars and where every mice can seek his lungga. It’s the place to be at Arellano Dy Ng Uy School of Excellence and magis+. And for quite sometime, he was able to pick up the pieces of his own self, shattered by the many tragedies that came and the much laughter that made him loose bits of his braces off into the air of self pity and emoism (emoism, is a new word coined by the world renowned BRENTipedia, FYI) so to cut the story short, the wimpy kid has grown better…
He was able to again trust people, the fear of being abused has gone and the many stories he wished not to share has slowly been overwritten by the many good ones he was able to make…
But one day he just died, hit in the heart, he died…
The reason?
… to be continued.
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