Actually alam ko, hindi ko lang alam pa’no.
Someone once told me that I have left her over another, that she felt jealous of my then association to someone else. But that didn’t seem to matter, inside me I know I have never mean it to.
Wounds were inflicted – but eventually healed.
And so things were mended, but I guess just like all wounds, the scar remains.
I once owned the world, I remember having folks wanting to be with me, but I guess I took things for granted. When we grow old we tend to choose our associations – that means living others behind. Tonight I would confess, that I guess I have lost it all. I own the world, I used to, some took it away, others I let slip. And tonight I would officially admit that I feel lonely.
My associ
ation to the girl that resulted to the former’s jealously eventually weathered. We’ll we can’t push magnets of the same pole together; we just didn’t click after all. And so I lost her, but now that I have more time for the former, why is it that I am always left on the waiting list. Feels like I have lost her, too. And you know what’s worst; I feel that every day of my life since then.
Nights like this remind me how well I am in keeping friends and how bad I am in trying to.
I just suddenly feel sad, I just suddenly feel alone again.
I have friends, good ones, I know that; but I have lost connection to those I want to keep. I still go out, spend hours at the mall, long hours over coffee, and those stuffs, but all those are but empty now.
I guess I need to change my playlist again, find new songs to sing.
I guess just like when I lost my iPod, I would have to start from scratch again. Download.
SORRY. Kung mabasa mo man ‘to, SORRY but I guess things have changed.
… at, pagod na din kasi ako, pero hinid ko masabi.
Sa ngayon nais ko lang magDRIVE ng malayo, magdownload tapos kumanta ng malakas, sumayaw sa shower tapos matulog maghapon, magkape ng magisa. SORRY pero nakakapagod ding maghintay, at pagod na pagod na ako.
[sad sigh] 10.4.10 / 12.36am
ironic noh.. we always hear people say that things happen for a reason.. yah.. totoo naman.. but most of the time, ang hirap talaga i-figure out ang mga dahilan na sinasabi nito..
ReplyDeletei believe its always another story when we talk about friendship.. i have always believed that true friendships heal all wounds.. true, scars remain, and maybe things may change.. but then we know in our hearts that the person will always be special in our hearts..
i guess being alone allows us to see things in wider perspectives.. and as time goes, we also realize who our true friends are..
true friends will always remain.. they may go for a while, but will return in time..
that's just what i believe..
that's what i want to believe..
that i didn't lose a friend..
and that someday,
i will have my "one day"..
my number 1 in my christmas list..
we wait..
we believe..
true friendship, truly heals..
@the boss:
ReplyDeleteis the waiting because of wan and bok?
im sorry for making you feel so alone,
and for making you feel sad.
remember when we talked about the jealousy thing. i was hurt, there were scars, but wounds do heal. i was healed. i am healed.
sabi mo nga kagabi,
never will it happen na magkakalamat ang friendship natin. and i'll never let it happen.
i was too bothered last night when maya asked me about your blog. i almost cried. i was really scared.
i understand you, and i need to.
again, sorry for causing you pain.
but i thank you for letting me know this thing.
im so secured that you'll always there, kaya siguro im taking you for granted.
one thing's for sure,
im not like an ipod.
il give you the time you want.
may babalikan ka pa rin.
things may change, i may change, so as you,
but i believe our true friendship remains.
rest, so long as don't give up.
deepSIGH.
@the boss:
ReplyDelete*scarred, not scared.
i was really scarred.
@MYAngligaw:
thanks for last night.
i'd failed many friendships before.
the scars weren't healed yet.
i guess those were not true friendship.
haist.
bigSIGH.
para kay mYa at simple coy...
ReplyDeletesalamat. basat salamat.
tsaka, coy, wag kang magalala, it was just my emotions talking...
at the end of the day, i know that i have a frend in you. sorry and thank you more! hugs.
guess wimpy kid's starting to be emotional like simple coy. hahaha
ReplyDeletepara kay simple coy...
ReplyDeletehell no. hahha,.
hindi talaga. hehe
@the boss: weh? di nga?
ReplyDeleteweH, maganun??? overs!
ReplyDeletehugs.