Actually alam ko, hindi ko lang alam pa’no.
Someone once told me that I have left her over another, that she felt jealous of my then association to someone else. But that didn’t seem to matter, inside me I know I have never mean it to.
Wounds were inflicted – but eventually healed.
And so things were mended, but I guess just like all wounds, the scar remains.
I once owned the world, I remember having folks wanting to be with me, but I guess I took things for granted. When we grow old we tend to choose our associations – that means living others behind. Tonight I would confess, that I guess I have lost it all. I own the world, I used to, some took it away, others I let slip. And tonight I would officially admit that I feel lonely.
My associ
ation to the girl that resulted to the former’s jealously eventually weathered. We’ll we can’t push magnets of the same pole together; we just didn’t click after all. And so I lost her, but now that I have more time for the former, why is it that I am always left on the waiting list. Feels like I have lost her, too. And you know what’s worst; I feel that every day of my life since then.
Nights like this remind me how well I am in keeping friends and how bad I am in trying to.
I just suddenly feel sad, I just suddenly feel alone again.
I have friends, good ones, I know that; but I have lost connection to those I want to keep. I still go out, spend hours at the mall, long hours over coffee, and those stuffs, but all those are but empty now.
I guess I need to change my playlist again, find new songs to sing.
I guess just like when I lost my iPod, I would have to start from scratch again. Download.
SORRY. Kung mabasa mo man ‘to, SORRY but I guess things have changed.
… at, pagod na din kasi ako, pero hinid ko masabi.
Sa ngayon nais ko lang magDRIVE ng malayo, magdownload tapos kumanta ng malakas, sumayaw sa shower tapos matulog maghapon, magkape ng magisa. SORRY pero nakakapagod ding maghintay, at pagod na pagod na ako.
[sad sigh] 10.4.10 / 12.36am
