on life and love

ON LIFE…

I’m still feeling a little down, no, a lot down, haven’t been up that long up and damn, I am down again. Well, it’s not that biggie anymore, but, hell it did hurt. It’s like being served coke and fries in the middle of the night, with the craving, tapos out of the blue, when you were about to munch on it, poof, gone.

A certain company, reputable at that, came in Ateneo to scout for possible candidates for employment. I was not interested up until a friend told me it’s good, and hell yah, it’s really more than good. Anyway, so I attended the company talk, and did pretty well. At the end of the day I was like THE one, everybody else from the company knows my name, they call me on first name basis, I had my showtime during the talk and, tsong, I was handpicked by their VP, mind you VP for the whole wide world, even gave me the ‘see you soon’ phrase. I was a sure candidate – well, at least I thought so, and half of all the people inside the hall, including my friends, my counselor and many significant others.

Tapos, there came the short list – I was not part of it.

The reason? It’s all because I am a LEGAL MANAGEMENT major. WTF?! I mean, I get it, pero, paasa tsong, alam mo yung pakiramdam na, ayun na oh, tapos biglang pak, ouch, hindi pala.

Expectations suck, no, it kills. I have known that long before, but it just didn’t occur to me early this week. I guess tama ang friend ko, maybe their’s something even better, or maybe mas tama yung isa, reality check, maybe it’s but an experience meant to remind me of the word ‘humbling’.

One sad experience, but it taught me a lot 

ON LOVE…

I just fell in love with a picture.

My Aya came home with a Tinig Loyola Magazine early this week – it’s a good read. Whilst I was saddened by a certain thought about the possibility that what RYAN and I have is but fickle minded infatuation, I came upon this picture in such magazine, that, I don’t know, stirred something within.

There is this guy, wearing a yellow ‘XAVIER’ shirt, so I would assume he’s also an Atenista, only younger and is from Manila, he’s definitely cute, actually my concept of cute - naughty and nice, plus more.

I don’t know if it’s because he looks almost exactly like Alex (my first) or it’s because he’s just simply charming, that I have been drawn to him, to the point that I browsed the entire in the hope of finding his name somewhere, but to no avail. Ewan, parang tanga.

Surprises, they come in different packages, sometimes as expected, sometimes, as not.

Today, and in the days to come, I might seem weird to some – cause I also feel weird. I’m stressed, I’m pressured; I know that both, but more than that, I also feel like I don’t have the appetite anymore, tipong EAT PRAY LOVE, I just have to find my word siguro, because recently, I just wake up and merely wake up, no flames, no passion, no gusto, no nothing…