Jitters

If there would be two words that’ll describe me and my situation now, that’ll be jitters and fervid. Well, the first is way too obvious, I’m graduating, vying for an award (who knows, awards, hhhehe, wishful thinking) at the same time trying to comply with my requirements, that damn are way too many, and they have piled already. Phew. The second word means, extreme mood swings, quite a new term for bipolar; all because, due to (refer to the first word) I really can’t sleep well anymore, been preoccupied most of the time, and damn, I can’t concentrate well, been talking much also lately, talking non-sense actually, tapos maya maya I’d feel alone, sad, then one moment I’d be motivated again, positive and all, phew, I’m getting crazy 

But anyhow, I do understand, I myself have been trying to be patient with my emotions, too. the countdown has already begun and the clock is ticking fast, that’s why I’d make sure I live one day at a time muna. Pray much in between toiling and sweating it all out. Malapit na, malapit lapit na din, ngayon pa ba ako susuko, laban, diba.

With sweaty palms now as I type this, I say AMEN to all and everything. Masyadong masaya ang mundo for me to sulk, I don’t even have the right to feel small, coz I know I am not, marami na din akong napatunayan sa sarili ko just to lose it with this trying time. Hindi ah, I won’t allow it, my Lord’s been faithful to me and, damn, I am living my teenage dream, madaming hustle bustle but the road shall clear again. As the cliché goes, God destroys one to make it better, thus I am neither losing it nor heading somewhere epic but rather I am being shaken, hard, so that the kick does kick well – and hard. Bring it on and I am ready…

As Coelho said…

When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.

And so tonight, and for the many nights that were a prelude to tonight, I swear for their sake that I shall live fully, that I shall sing in the showers, smile at the sun and the moon and work my toes hard, keep those dreams awake and ride the winds of change, keep my faith ever ablaze and kiss hello a hundred years to live.

Before I end this entry, I would like share my word of the day, probab;y even for the many coming days, since I started with words, allow me to end it with another word, I saw this at the office today as I render my fourth to the last duty day at the CLG, the word that perfectly describe as well what I have written above, the only reason I have chosen so to stand above my ordeal, the word that I shall always remember especially in the upcoming days, the word that I know would take me to places and where my heart belongs…

PERSIST. (o.0)