duty

Ito’y isang kwento na nung una’y ayokong paniwalaan, I grew up in a family of doctors and engineers kaya everything has to have an explanation, that logic would always have to be the bottom line. But I guess, there are just things that we cannot explain, things that are left for us to not rationalize but to learn from.

It all started when I was on my third year as a Nursing student, part of our many trainings would be to, for once or twice, depende sa CI mo, be an affiliate at a mental institution.

It was mid August this year when I was assigned at a mental hospital in QC, I stayed there until early September. And mind you, that was the longest three weeks of my life.

I arrived on a Friday, tamang tama ‘coz I’m to start by Monday so I’d have time to be familiar with the place. Come Saturday morning, I dropped by the hospital to deliver my papers to my CI and to hopefully get my soon-to be patient’s info, which according to the head nurse would be available soon. ‘Soon’ means by the time I end my duty, a reliable friend told me.

Monday came, and so I started. I was assigned to four patients, fortunately all their cases are trauma induced, so tahimik sila most of the time, para silang mga patay na may hininga. They usually pass the day by simply sitting at a corner. Lahat ng tatlo kong pasyente ganun, except the other one, si Andy, he’s sort of child like, mausisa, mapaglaro, mahilig ding magkwento – na parang bata. He’s simply lovable that in my first week, he was already my favorite patient.

In the morning I usually take them to the garden, clean them after and supervise their lunch come 11:30 and then give them their meds. By 2pm, out na ako. But I usually stay until 3pm, I usually wait for Mar who’s assigned two blocks from San Antonio, malas nya that he’s assigned sa OR ng isa ring malapit na hospital. By 3pm, sabay na kaming bumabalik ng dorm, kung hindi tawagin ng kati ng paa.

The patients usually are free in the afternoon, the ones that are gentle are usually allowed to roam at the garden and the porch where I usually stay at, kasi mabilis ang signal ng broadband. At madalas sa hindi, Andy would stay and talk to me.

He’s quite funny, kung hindi nga lang sya may tama sa utak, he’s a cute funny boyfriend¬able guy. He’s fond of telling me about a beautiful nurse who’s been, according to him, visiting his room at night. Girl friend nya daw nung college, until that fateful night that they were separated by, according to him, katangahan ng seloso nyang puso. For long, according to him, they haven’t seen each other, only again until this July.

‘Si Alex, mabait, maganda – tsaka mahal ko’ – he would usually repeat.

Most of the time, I have to admit, kinikilig ako sa mga kwento nya.

The next Monday, something came up with Andy, he started having seizures. It scared me to hell, when he had his first seizure; I was supervising him to take a bath when he started to jerk around. Fortunately someone came into the room to offer help, I can remember her uniform being so messed up that I can’t help but feel guilty to have ruined her coleheyala image. Anyhow, she was a great help, I has able to call the head nurse.

The next seizure gave me the biggest scare, it happened at the garden on a Tuesday afternoon, when I was out already. Fortunately the same nurse the day before came in to assist. I almost shouted to her to hold Andy tight as I run and call for help. When I came back with nurse Jam, the head nurse, Andy was on the grass already, jerking heavily while the other nurse tries to hold his head, protecting him not to bump at anything hard. That night, I included Andy in my prayers.

When Wednesday came, things were normal. Andy was well again, at the end of my duty he even stayed with me at the garden as I wait for Mar. He caused no bother, the only thing that did was the nurse who helped me with him, she seem to keep an eye on me that day while she watches over her patients, too. When Mar came, she seemed to follow us with her sight.

The week ended with her doing just that, whenever I would try to approach her to ask, she would walk right back to the hospital. She seemed nice pa naman, mukhang taga USTe, pero weird.

On my last week, she made the biggest impact on me. It was a Monday when I decided to really pursue talking to her, so to clear things out. I’m not any more comfortable by her cold look at me. And so, I planned to follow her, corner her if I have to.

As usual, after my duty I stayed where I usually stay. Andy came, as usual. And she, as usual was seated at the other end of the garden, with the same cold angered look.

I took some air in before I decided to walk towards her, as usual, she moved away. I followed her up until we were alone at the porch. Finally, she faced me. And we talked.

I was such a fool to believe she was looking at me, according to her she was not; she was actually annoyed by Andy’s presence, she didn’t tell me why, but one thing is clear, it’s not on me. I apologized and she was nice enough to just laugh it out and call it a truce. In the end, I have found myself a new friend, she’s indeed from UST and is also on her third year. And her name’s Jane, Jane Sy.

Apparently Andy saw me talking to her. The next day, he just can’t stop asking what we talked about. I asked who, pretending I don’t what he’s talking about, but just like a kid he kept on asking, like a kid waiting for the catch of a story to be told. But I never gave any hint, I stood with my story that there was no one I was talking to, that he’s imagining it. I wouldn’t know what to tell him when he asks what Jane told me, I chose to lie, anyway, he’s told to being told he imagines things.

Thursday came, I was excited enough since by the next day my duty is done and by Saturday morning I’d going back to Bicol, believe it or not I have missed Ateneo too. On my way to the garden with Andy, I saw the cold look again, Jane was walking right to us. She then took her eyes off Andy to smile at me. Andy saw that apparently. Shortly after he simply said, ‘sabi ko na’

‘Nakikita mo sya?’ – Andy asked.

Sino naman? – I responded.

‘Sya, si Alex.’

‘Andito si Alex mo? Asan?’ I asked.

‘Ano ka ba, ngumiti pa nga sya sa’yo’ – was Andy’s response. ‘Galit sya sa’kin no? Hindi ko naman kasi sinasadya yun.’ he added. To probably respond to my confusions which had obviously shown in my face, Andy said something that caused me more confusion. ‘Andito sya kasi galit sya sa akin, sa nangyari sa amin, hindi ko dapat itinigil, hindi ako dapat prumeno ng bigla bigla. Ang sabi nya pa nga hindi ko daw sya talaga minahal’

I asked him, if we are talking about Jane or his Alex but he started to cry badly that I lead him instead to his room to rest.

Friday came, last day. I waved goodbye to my patients, Andy said before I leave him at his room that he would miss me. But the last words that came out of him blew my mind off.

‘Paki sabi kay Alex mahal ko sya, baka sa’yo maniwala sya’

‘Sige, sasabihin ko, pero asan ba sya?’ I asked.

He walked to the porch, then pointed out to Jane who was at the garden. ‘Sya’

Before I left San Antonio, I said goodbye to some new found friends, including Jane who simply smiled when I said what Andy wanted me tell to her.

After which, I took my papers from my head nurse, a little bulkier now since the copy of my patient’s information has been inserted there already, the ‘soon’ was indeed true. It was funny ‘coz I was with patients whose backgrounds I have never read before, I guess, that’s what you get from having duties at a public hospital.

On my way home, out of boredom and curiosity I took my papers and started to read. I took Andy’s file.

His real name’s Andy James Uy, a tragic car crash led to his condition; he’s a nursing student, too, to my surprise, UST. He was probably on his fourth year, he was 20 when it happened, the car crash took his girl friend’s parents’ life. The girlfriend was on comatose, declared brain dead. After which, he flipped.

Tears were about to fall from my eyes when a picture clipping took my eyes, maybe even my entire spirit, the file has pictures of the car crash, the trunk of the car was tore off, the back seat completely junked, the girl at the passenger’s seat has bleeding forehead. And to my horror, looks perfectly like Jane.

And there it occurred to me. All of a sudden, I started to remember what Andy said.

A news clipping proved my fear.
It said, ‘The driver (Andy) was driving a black Sedan which in the middle of the road completely stopped, causing the bus next to it to hit the car, killing Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Sy on the spot. His girlfriend, Alexandra Jane Sy suffered internal brain hemorrhage who then was confined at St. Luke’s on coma.’

The last news paper clipping took my life for a moment.
It was a school paper for the month of July, UST with the headline; 3rd Yr Nursing Stud in Comma, passed away.


may mga bagay tayong hindi alam, mga taong nakikilala; ang tanong, how sure are you who they are.