rePOST

This was posted NOV 5 of last year in my wordpress account...
and now that I have decided to move here, am picking some for repost, here's one.

STATUS UPDATE

The challenge now is definitely simple – how do I make the most out of my every day.

I have been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease a year ago, and since then; after tons of blood exams and stiffening MIRs, am now one eyed and still fighting, graciously fighting my own ‘confused’ genes. Pain management has been a gruesome ordeal; I have to take steroids to combat my ankylosing spondilitis. Technically, since my anomalous genes are confused, I have higher tendencies of developing other diseases that might make my, well relatively shorter life span, even shorter.

There are days when I would just sigh and ask, why me. There is so much ahead for me, there has been a promise of a bright future, and there have been so much doodles of my dreams drawn. Technically I have always known I would be able to reach and touch the skies, in my own life story.

But the creator has plans for me, better plans.

In retrospect, I have been relatively well. We’re not affluent or relatively rich, but I have lived a privileged life. My medications are quite affordable, but there were (and still are) medical procedures that are really costly which I went through (and still, and would go through). Should I have been a commodity, am a little priced. I am a little hard to maintain, so to speak. All those, me and my family went through, and continuously go through.

So, my point being made is, my life is not at all so desirable. Should others know they might not pick mine to exchange with. But that doesn’t make me hate it. There are, believe me, times that I really do, but in my heart of hearts, if I would be given yet another chance to live, I’d still take my life. All of it.

For a while, I have seen my sitch as a hindrance, as a block and an obstacle I have to push and fight against. I was wrong. Direly wrong.

We all have our own problems, some big some small, some might cause them lots of sleeps, some a bucket of money, some, like mine, might lose their lives because of it. But that’s just how life operates. We’re born and we’ll die. The time in between defines LIFE. No matter how short or meaningfully lived.

So, here I am, hugging this ‘gift’. As you know, I can either fret and ask why all day – or make the most out of my every day. Am not dying any sooner, but am going to (probably because my liver gave up, or my lungs did, or my spondylitis won or my heart caves in – or I’d be killed, or meet an accident). Come to think of it, walang nakaka alam (nobody knows). So while the time has not yet come. What the hell, LIVE!